I'm back on this again.  I guess being prescient about Orange Anus not being punished prompts more expression on this forum, which for all intents and purposes, has been for my eyes only for years.  The vain thought of 20 years ago as this being the continuation of my minor, part-time soccer journalism career has long hit the dusty attic.  Anyway,  I'm now face to face with the hard reality of what I decided all the way back in the Fall of 2021: I will never set foot in the United States of America misruled by Hair Furor (I do not give him the dignity of his name unless it becomes this era's version of Quisling).  I AM AN EXILE.  I acknowledge that I am lucky enough to have the means and wherewithal to effect this in relative comfort.  Nonetheless, the prospect of the earliest possible return to Los Angeles after January 20, 2025, is January 21, 2029, is depressing.  That means missing the World Cup & the Olympics in what is my hometown.  

This will probably mean giving up the Princess, as she has shown more than once she wants to stay there, and I will not continue to support her to the same extent as I have if an ocean separates us PERIOD.  Add in that she has been intaking and regurgitating some pretty hateful nut bar right-wing propaganda du jour (the last time we got together included an argument about her embracing anti-trans propaganda to the point of saying she heard it from patients who claimed to be parents who were forced to allow their kids to choose their gender expression).  When I asked her to provide evidence, she refused and told me to research it on my own.  She is either gullible or lying, and neither is acceptable in the long term.  So, I will have to finesse things in such a way that she thinks she's in charge of the agenda, as she could drop a dime on me if she chooses to get revenge.  Part of me would be happy if things get dire enough for her to flee, and I get the wan satisfaction of saying, 'I told you so.'  However, this may not fix the rot at the heart of our relationship.  It began on a pretty corrupt basis, and it still applies.  I got myself into this, and it will be on me to get myself out...and I've begun part of the process (more on that later once it is done).  

Reflecting upon the Princess experience, if I knew then what I know now, would I have done it?  HELL YES.  I had resigned myself to never having the experience of an actual girlfriend for my entire life.  Life threw me a curveball, and I'm glad it did overall.  Does that sound dire, yes, it does, but then that is just part of my social awkwardness.

Another thing that has happened is I, pending the signing of a new rental contract, will be moving to a new residence in Estoril.  It will be a nicer spot in a smaller building that will be Euro 200 more per month, but hopefully worth it.  It will be the place I furnish myself.  That means getting my art here takes on more urgency, especially if I want to be outside of the USA by January 20, 2025.