I'm back on this again.  I guess being prescient about Orange Anus not being punished prompts more expression on this forum, which for all intents and purposes, has been for my eyes only for years.  The vain thought of 20 years ago as this being the continuation of my minor, part-time soccer journalism career has long hit the dusty attic.  Anyway,  I'm now face to face with the hard reality of what I decided all the way back in the Fall of 2021: I will never set foot in the United States of America misruled by Hair Furor (I do not give him the dignity of his name unless it becomes this era's version of Quisling).  I AM AN EXILE.  I acknowledge that I am lucky enough to have the means and wherewithal to effect this in relative comfort.  Nonetheless, the prospect of the earliest possible return to Los Angeles after January 20, 2025, is January 21, 2029, is depressing.  That means missing the World Cup & the Olympics in what is my hometown.  

This will probably mean giving up the Princess, as she has shown more than once she wants to stay there, and I will not continue to support her to the same extent as I have if an ocean separates us PERIOD.  Add in that she has been intaking and regurgitating some pretty hateful nut bar right-wing propaganda du jour (the last time we got together included an argument about her embracing anti-trans propaganda to the point of saying she heard it from patients who claimed to be parents who were forced to allow their kids to choose their gender expression).  When I asked her to provide evidence, she refused and told me to research it on my own.  She is either gullible or lying, and neither is acceptable in the long term.  So, I will have to finesse things in such a way that she thinks she's in charge of the agenda, as she could drop a dime on me if she chooses to get revenge.  Part of me would be happy if things get dire enough for her to flee, and I get the wan satisfaction of saying, 'I told you so.'  However, this may not fix the rot at the heart of our relationship.  It began on a pretty corrupt basis, and it still applies.  I got myself into this, and it will be on me to get myself out...and I've begun part of the process (more on that later once it is done).  

Reflecting upon the Princess experience, if I knew then what I know now, would I have done it?  HELL YES.  I had resigned myself to never having the experience of an actual girlfriend for my entire life.  Life threw me a curveball, and I'm glad it did overall.  Does that sound dire, yes, it does, but then that is just part of my social awkwardness.

Another thing that has happened is I, pending the signing of a new rental contract, will be moving to a new residence in Estoril.  It will be a nicer spot in a smaller building that will be Euro 200 more per month, but hopefully worth it.  It will be the place I furnish myself.  That means getting my art here takes on more urgency, especially if I want to be outside of the USA by January 20, 2025.            

 A bit of a more brief missive here.  I'm back from a 2 & 1/2 trip to Los Angeles.  I got a bit more than what I was expecting and some exactly what I was anticipating.  

First, the unexpected: my dental issue was not what I thought it was (a veneer that dropped out).  Instead, it was part of a tooth that chipped off when I bit into chewy bread...and the wreckage went to the nerve.  The dentist was amazed I was not in pain from it.  Anyways, an extraction followed after I was presented the choice of a root canal or an implant.  Considering I've had both, the latter in a mili-second.  Now comes the 6-month wait for the bone and gums to heal from the extraction.  Then will come the implanting of the metal into my upper jaw, then another 4-month waiting period to assess how well the implant takes.  Only then will a veneer be fitted atop the metal stub.  I went through this in 2013, so it is not an unknown thing.  The only wild card is whether will I be getting the implant in Southern California or Portugal.  If Hair Furor wins, the latter.  If Kamala wins, the former.  As I've said multiple times, but perhaps not here: I will never spend another second in an America misruled by Orange Anus - once was quite too much, no fucking thanks.  The second unexpected came from when I stayed at Mike W.'s place in Pacific Palisades.  After I had my first vaguely in-depth conversation about living in Portugal, the next morning, they announced they had decided to move to Europe (the Cote d'Azur, to be exact), and their talking to me had sealed the deal for them.  Ok.  I hope they understand just how much of a thing it will be, especially with two -- one of whom has begun schooling.  In fact, my nephew's situation mirrors mine at that age somewhat...and it did not go well for me at all (though it should be mentioned my reaction was not good).  Mike expects both of his kids to adapt easily.  I tried to explain to him that might not be the case.  Best of luck to them.  On another note, Mike generously let me put my stuff I had at Extra Space Storage in Marina del Rey at his warehouse space in Chatsworth.  I took advantage of it.

The somewhat anticipated other shoe to drop was the Princess revealing more about her attitude towards visiting me in Portugal.  She brought up the hot water supply in the apartment only lasting 5 - 10 minutes, and she needed far longer for her evening shower in order to get to sleep.  I don't know how fishy that is, I guess I will have to discreetly ask about that.  She's been angling for a January or February visit to the Algarve at what will probably be an über expensive spot.  At least, it will not be during the high season.  We also had a tiff: she's been digesting far too much conservative propaganda and swallowing it too much of it far too easily.  Also, when I visited the Druckers in Laguna Beach, Deb reminded me of anti-vaxxer spouting she did on a Thanksgiving Zoom call.  So this is how families drift apart...

Regarding the last line from the prior paragraph, it is starting to happen in my immediate family as well.  Deb & Raph don't speak to Mike & Janini, mostly due to the latter's posting of conspiracy theories that include a dose of antisemitism.  Deb & Mike don't speak due to their Mom, who, despite lying to the latter about who his actual father was, has managed to worm her way into his good graces.  Needless to write, my disdain for her has only increased since her lame non-apology for her inaccurate & inappropriate social media post about my mother's passing.  

Sadly, this sort of drama hit both sides of my family in generations prior.  For a time, I thought our cadre was immune.  Apparently and sadly not. 

UPDATE (since I drafted the text above):  The USA has made its catastrophic choice.  Now, I will follow through on mine.  The only things I have of interest in the USA are my financial accounts and my art.  Bringing the latter to Portugal will not be cheap.  Very soon, I must decide so, and gauge whether or not I need to make one more trip to Los Angeles (with me getting back before January 20, 2025).  I also need to recalibrate my financial life in several ways: 1) Do I move my assets out of the jurisdiction of the USA?  2)  My monthly disbursements to the Princess will change (yes, I've been saying this for years!), but I want to give her a chance to have a conversation about it.  However, I will not wait on her schedule -- I did that via delaying my arrival to Portugal for a year, and it was not wholly positive.  I tallied what I disbursed to her over the length of our relationship, and it has not been cheap.  If she wants this to continue, the agreement as we have had it will change. 3) Part of why the prior has to happen is that if I'm staying in Portugal, I'm going to start looking for a more permanent place to live that I will furnish myself.  Perhaps I will even buy a property.  For that to happen, I need to grow the principle of my investment portfolio to raise the cash for a purchase & still have a healthy base with which to earn passive income that I can live on. 

I moved to Portugal in significant part because the prospect of being subject to Orange Anus again is simply unacceptable.  I had a nagging feeling that the Democrats would not show the required ruthlessness to make sure he would never be in the White House again, and thanks in large part to the dithering of Merrick Garland, it has happened.  I am now an exile.